I couldn't give a cluck.

Hi guys.

So, stag and hen party planning is good craic. Not quite as good as the parties themselves of course, but given the amount of different packages and party activities in cities all across the UK that gobananas has to offer - it will be a long time before I run out of things to write about!

I used to think that the true test of a writer is not the ability to come up with a clever way of saying something, but seven clever ways of saying the same thing. I still maintain that this is a useful skill to have, but I've come across something much much more challenging.

I'm trying to write like a woman.

While attempts to get me into the correct mindset have seen me follow in the footsteps of Mel Gibson in 'What Women Want' and donning all kinds of crazy girl products, I just don't seem to be able to hit the right note. I can't just say "Hehe, lol" at the end of second sentence or so, and sitting around in a g-string and high-heels isn't really all that appropriate at home - let alone in the office!

The truth of the matter is, all the outdoor activities that the guys would go out and do are also available for hen nights and weekends, so I have to try and make it sound interesting for them too. It's difficult not to lead with "put the iron away for the night" or "take the men out of menstruation with a night on the town with the girls". Fact is we have loads of stuff for hens to do, such as burlesque dancing, cocktail making, pole dancing lessons... baking...

I can't help myself. But, we've had an increase in the amount of hens making enquiries about some of the more gritty stuff like Quad Biking, White Water Rafting and Paintballing, so I now need to make all of this stuff sound better for our websites.

"Hen Quad Biking - because in a field there's nothing to reverse into"

"Hen White Water Rafting - we'd rather you were on the rivers than on the roads"

"Hen Paintballing - like you, these guns are made up of highly compressed air"

Ok, so none of that is actually on the websites - but I am starting to struggle to stay on the right side of chauvinism. But the thing is, in this day and age girls are wanting to try all this stuff out anyway, regardless about what's written about them. Compared to last year the number of girls and hen parties booking the likes of Rage Bikes, Clay Pigeon Shooting and Go-Karting is going up all on its own. Girls, it seems, just want to have fun!

I've still some more work to do with the buses for now though, so I think I'll stick to that than trying to delve any further into a woman's psyche and potentially say something offensive.

Especially considering you're all allowed near heavy machinery now, ladies!

Juuuuust kidding ;)

Laterz,

-Kenny